This morning I saw something on my Facebook feed I’ve seen a gajillion times before: a cut and paste list. I never complete the things myself, but I am not particularly opposed to them either. This particular list was specifically for couples, because single people aren’t nearly alienated enough on Valentine’s Day.
I don’t know why, but today a switch flipped, and I realized I had something to say about my current relationship.
I filled out the survey and posted it one my Facebook wall, thinking little of it. This evening, I discovered that my honesty spoke to a lot of people. Like, a lot of people. This is a weird way to return to the blog after such a prolonged silence, but hey… I’m graduating in four months, and the world is on fire. Now is not the time for perfectionism. Indeed…
It’s time to stop being polite, and start getting REAL.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, couples: Make this your status and answer honestly!
I am. Dissertation turned two this month.
Who was interested first?
I was. I found it packed in fifteen boxes in the San Francisco Public Library and decided to take it home, after two weeks of tepid romance.
That’d be me. Dissertation isn’t allowed to be sarcastic, what with all the dead people in it.
Who makes the most mess?
Dissertation makes a mess of me and I make a mess of it.
Who hogs the remote?
I do. Dissertation doesn’t like competing for attention.
Spends the most?
I followed Dissertation merrily into debt.
Depends on the day.
Most common sense?
Do you have any children?
Dissertation IS my children. Wrap you head around that!
Did you go to the same school?
I guess, technically, yes?
Who is the most sensitive?
I am. Dissertation enjoys watching me cry.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
The edges of sanity.
Who has the worst temper?
I do… Dissertation is pretty apathetic about being terrible.
Who does the cooking?
I cook, and eat, for both of us. Which is why I don’t fit in my clothes right now.
Who is the neat freak?
Depends on the chapter and my stress level.
Who is the most stubborn?
Dissertation. Rigid expectations, arbitrary deadlines, and definitely HATES it when I think outside the box.
Who wakes up earlier?
Dissertation gets up and stares at me until I deal with it.
Who picks where you go to dinner?
I do, which is why I don’t fit in my clothes anymore.
Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Definitely Dissertation. I’ve been in its thrall since the moment we found each other.
How long have you been together?
Since February 2015. Never thought I’d have so many sadomasochistic experiences in such a short time. Mind you, I’m not complaining.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Dissertation. I love you. Please don’t hurt me.
“The Six Million Dollar Scholar” is the personal blog of Andrea Milne, a Ph.D. candidate in modern U.S. History at the University of California, Irvine. To get the story behind the blog’s name, click here.