Six Million Dollar Smoothies: The Bluth Banana

Prepare yourself. I'm going full "Arrested Development" fan girl in this post.

Prepare yourself. I’m going full “Arrested Development” fan girl in this post.

Today was a terrible day from start to finish. My plans got hijacked by a situation entirely beyond my control.. I quite literally did not accomplish a *single* thing on my to-do list, despite working non-stop from 6 AM to almost 4 PM. Made myself sick, because once the adrenaline wore off and I shifted out of emergency mode, I realized that I’d not eaten in nine hours. Oops. 

We’ve all been there, for one reason or another… one needs to recover from days like this.

I know, right? Seriously.

I know, right? Seriously.


Good thing I know how to make an insane chocolate smoothie! Not only is it yummy, but it makes me think of a TV show that’s brought me tremendous joy for over a decade now: “Arrested Development.” It’s been a coping mechanism of choice for a long time now, and has seen me (and several of my closest friends) though days FAR worse than today.

Strap in, folks. Chocolate therapy is about to begin.

A quick refresher for anybody who isn’t a regular reader: I AM in the midst of a diet, but you don’t need to be to use these recipes. I’ve become a smoothie evangelist because—if you’re smart about how you make them—they can be (1) healthy, (2) dirt cheap, and (3) excellent meal replacements.  If you want a low calorie smoothie, you can tweak the recipe below, and easily half the calorie content.

There's ALWAYS money in the Banana Stand. I could make Arrested Development references all day if you wanted me to... No? Oh. Alright, then.

There’s ALWAYS money in the Banana Stand. I could make Arrested Development referenced all day if you wanted me to… No? Oh. Alright, then.

The Bluth Banana: “Ten cents gets you nuts!”

This is an EPIC smoothie. Intentionally thick, and high in both calories and protein, it’s perfect for breakfast. If you aren’t a glutton like me, you should probably have half for breakfast, and refrigerate the remaining half for dessert, or a snack later in the day.  

NB: Take out the Greek yogurt and you’ve got a vegan smoothie, though I’d suggest adding tofu or something similar to improve the texture.

The Bluth Banana in all her glory!

The Bluth Banana in all her glory!

Ice cubes, 4-5

Chocolate almond milk 1 cup

Greek yogurt, ½ cup (I prefer vanilla, but plain will work too)

Banana, 1 whole, cut into pieces

Chocolate whey protein powder, ½ scoop

Creamy peanut butter, 2-3 tablespoons

Calories: 724

If you’re catching the smoothie bug and want another recipe to tide you over until my next post, check out The Strawberry Banana Debacle!

“The Six Million Dollar Scholar” is the personal blog of Andrea Milne, a Ph.D. candidate in modern U.S. History at the University of California, Irvine. To get the story behind the blog’s name, click here.

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